While I was engaged with one of the World’s Toughest man for a program and I just begun my last travel with him for that specific visit. It was almost 3 days I had been with him day and night. Quite reserved in the conversations, but am being an ambivert, I started the conversation and it went on well than what I actually imagined about. Moving something personal, that gentleman said, “KK, you aren’t having any Good Friends or a Girl Friend both in present and past right?”. I was stilled for a minute, and replied him “Yes Sir, you ‘re right!”
The conversation went on and the specific points which impressed me are quoted below:
Smart Intellectual Kids like you
- Will Never have a Best Friend
- Will Never have a Girl Friend
- Will find it very difficult in finding a Wife
- Will find it very difficult in managing the Wife
He advised me to write this in my diary and you will never ever regret wasting few minutes in recording the above 4 statement anytime further. Yes, it was highly captivating and in my mind for a long time. The first 2 statements was in line with my life and the rest I am not sure at this junction!
Accidentally I read another post which says Why Intelligent People Can’t find Happiness?
“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.”-Ernest Hemingway
That website listed almost 6 reasons. I am reproducing the same here.
They are the victim of over analysis
They want to match everything with their high standards
Intelligent people judge themselves too hard
They aim for bigger things
No one to appreciate them or have a meaningful conversation
Smart people often develop psychological issues
The presence of a faithful and loving partner, a great family life and a successful career may not be enough to prevent an intelligent soul from feeling grief and melancholy.
- They are the victim of over analysis
Many people with high level of intelligence lean towards over-thinking and keep analyzing everything that occurs in their life, their surroundings and beyond. Too much thinking can be exhausting at times, especially when your thoughts lead you to conclusions which vex and frustrate you. They weigh you down, but you can’t help but think and think, no matter how draining the experience is.
Their ability to analyze things is great. But, it is also true that we don’t need to pay attention to everything, and crowd our minds with unsavory thoughts. ‘Ignorance is bliss,’ this saying holds good for people like you who can see right through anybody and identify their true motives. Undoubtedly, the world seems a disappointing place occupied by wrong people. Not to mention the feelings that affect you upon the reflection on philosophical problems, global affairs and the eternal questions of life that have no answers. If you learn to ignore, you can feel lighthearted, cheerful and happy.
- They want to match everything with their high standards
People with high IQ are always sure of what they want and anything less than their expectations fail to satisfy them, and this makes it more difficult for them to be happy. This stands true for everything, whether it is career, relationships or anything else that matters in life.
It’s a fact of life that we never get all what we want. But, this practical knowledge is not present in those who have brilliant theoretical minds. They have little practical intelligence and maintain idealistic views of the world that really doesn’t help them in coping with the ways of the world. So, when they find the reality is contrary to their expectations, they feel greatly disappointed.
- Intelligent people judge themselves too hard
One of the reasons of unhappiness also crops from their tendency to be extremely hard on themselves. It is not only about their successes and failures, but everything that is about them. Their deep thinking nature minutely analyses their behaviour and actions and compares them against highest standards. Even though it is done unintentionally, this tendency offers them enough reason to blame themselves for no reason.
An act committed years ago can suddenly haunt their mind and remind them how they had failed to do things rightly. This disturbs their mind and messes up their mood. After that, they can hardly spend the day cheerfully or manage a relaxing sleep at night. These types of flashbacks into past mistakes are frequent in intelligent people. Guilt and discontent fill their mind. These negative emotions are enough to erase happiness from one’s life.
- They aim for bigger things
They cannot be satisfied with what they have in life because their high IQ gives them the power to imagine bigger things. They are always looking for a bigger purpose, a meaning and a pattern. Some of them are driven too far away by their intense imagination, making it impossible for them to enjoy the good things they have in their life. Ordinary life is too boring for them and that is why they search for exceptionalism, which of course doesn’t exist in reality.
Do you think this planet is not your real abode or you should live in a different era? It is nothing new about intelligent, deep thinking individuals. With such thoughts swarming your mind, you can hardly hope to be happy when you cannot accept the world and even the time you are living in.
- No one to appreciate them or have a meaningful conversation
We all yearn to be truly understood, but intelligent people can hardly find someone who can understand them. When we have understanding people around us, half of the stress in our lives ceases to exist. There is nothing more comforting than having a meaningful conversation with a like-minded person who understands your views and ideas on everything spanning from personal life, philosophy, to global affairs and other complex questions. Most intelligent people feel misunderstood and lonely, as usually, no one appreciates the depth of which they can see and analyze things.
Science has proved that smart people don’t need to socialise as much as the people with average IQ, to be happy. Nevertheless, smart people feel the need to meet people, interact and have an enjoyable conversation. They are more interested in talking about meaningful and fascinating things rather than talk on subjects like food, weather or weekend plans. The truth is, it is difficult to come by a person who can indulge in a deep conversation. This is the result of the materialist and consumerist society we live in.
- Smart people often develop psychological issues.
Many studies have found a connection between highly intelligent minds and psychiatric disorders like bipolar disorders and social anxiety. Is it possible that these disorders are the side effect of a brilliant mind? We cannot confirm this, as there are so many hidden mysteries of human mind and science, yet to be revealed.
It is not that all intelligent people suffer from severe mental disorders. But even the ones who don’t, are susceptible to existential depression which usually results from over-thinking. If you keep on thinking and analyzing everything deeply, there comes a time when you start thinking about life and death. Your mind begins to search for the meaning of your existence and that is when you begin to re-evaluate your own life. This saddens you, but for no apparent reason.